NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AFTER 5 AM
This is a hard and fast rule for anyone, not just a girl thing. Given that it’s inevitably the point in the evening when fun topples over into sadness, bad decisions, universal incoherence, terrible music and conversations about how your friends don’t respect you enough, it’s a cut-off point to keep in mind at all times.
Seriously, everyone, stop feeding your child garbage, then convincing the stuffed goose she looks like a princess by dressing her up in prancey skirts. You’re grooming her for a future of diabetes and unreciprocated oral sex.